Are you going abroad and your loved one has other obligations?
Well here are some ideas to cope with that situation.

I live in a 2.25 year relationship and 6 months of this time I have spent in other countries. One year into the relationship I went to Oslo, Norway to have an internship at Fugro Seismic Imaging and another year later I visited London to work with Western Geco / Schlumberger.
This hasn't always been easy, I admit.

Two months seemed like a long time and it was, but you can make the best of it.
Then four months seemed like a time our relationship would never survive, but we are closer than ever and happily ever after.
So what's the trick of a temporary long-distance relationship?

First off: Keep it temporary!

By all means, I am a firm believer that long-distance relationships do not work. If you're separated for a time that is endless, you will probably not make it. Knowing that I will be back in a fixed amount of time, saved me a good amount of nerves. I knew exactly, which flight I would take even before I was in London or Oslo to come back to Hamburg.

Communicate!

It will be an entire new level of communication you have to do when you can only talk to be close. It will take a lot of effort but it is worth it.

Use technology!

It's so easy to make a video call for free these days. Do it. Make it a ritual even. When I woke up at 6 in the morning first thing I would do is fire up the computer and call home for half an hour. This way we could have breakfast together and start our day. Personally I gained experience with two different providers and three services. Google has implemented two different approaches for video chats. There is the commonly known Google Hangout, this probably isn't as suitable for you. The base functionality of hangouts are group chats and there is just too much stuff going on for a normal two-person chat. Then there is a two-party video chat implementation in the normal Google Talk chat. This works quite well and doesn't need big setups. However, we had some feedback loops and noise canceling isn't quite good. Sometimes you had the feeling that the chat had a feedback loop with itself. Also the chat is implemented in a web service and can be called over Google Plus or Google Mail, which is convenient at first but it happened more than once that we closed GMail and the chat was accidentally gone.
My personal favorite is the standalone program Skype. The sound quality is very good if both parties use decent hardware and we had almost no feedback or background noise. The video quality gets adjusted to your bandwidth, so it is hard to compare but when you don't do anything  but chat, the quality is magnificent. One of the main benefits is that there is almost no way to accidentally close Skype. This can be annoying at other points of time, when you want to close Skype but then again, yeah who cares. Also one thing we found very convenient is a little gadget Skype implemented. You do not have to have the window open to see the video chat. When the main Skype window isn't active, a small window pops up with the video chat that stays on top of almost anything. This way you can play games together and share the experience or maybe watch a movie over Lovefilm - you imagine the possibilities. However, you might want to consider that Skype is a closed source system and the Google video chat goes through Google services as well. Skype has (had) some security issues and some serious privacy issues¹. Google's services are mainly open source but you still chat through a system run by one of the biggest data mining corporations, just be careful what you talk about. When you go more low-level, maybe use part of your lunch break for a quick text chat to talk about your day. The chat integrated into the Google services works on most company networks, because they will not block Google. Facebook chat might be blocked on many work sites and I am not a big fan of sharing sensitive information through a service that is known to sell anything, they can get a grip on – but that's your choice.

Invest in your relationship!

Investing in your relationship is quite a metaphor in most cases. This time I mean it literally. Put some money aside and invest in your relationship.
We visited each other regularly, which made the time less "long distance". Booking a cheap flight well ahead of time will save you some serious money and maybe your relationship. It isn't always that easy. You are probably restricted to weekend flights and this will increase the price significantly, compared to a flight in the middle of the week. Head over to Swoodoo and compare prices. Also check if it's cheaper for you to fly back home or for your loved one to come visit you. I had some magnificent times in Oslo and London, when my darling visited me. We did some trips to the most beautiful places around and those will be good memories. Reviewing this text I realized that there are probably some people out there that have to live in different places that can be reached by train. Don't get me wrong and please don't make that assumption yourself, visiting by train is just as hard as flying, maybe even harder. In case of flying you have different opportunities and price comparison sites, Hamburg-London took 1.25 hours one way, which is absolutely ok and gives you some quiet time. Taking the train can be much harder, there isn't a lot of competition, the seats aren't as comfortable and a lot of people are running around disturbing your quiet. The most important thing though, although you're physically much closer, the time and effort to take the train are basically the same. Appreciate the visit just as much as a flight arriving with your darling. Always collect them from the airport/train station, it's the best feeling of a warm welcome.
You could also send some flowers for little money. Make your loved one happy with just 10 to 20 Moneys². I can only tell about my experience in Germany, but that will be transferable to possibly anywhere. There are two big differences in flower delivery systems. There are deliveries like Blume2000 that have a couple central flower preparation centers and ship the flowers with a normal parcel service. Some reviews state that the flowers arrived wilted, however Blume2000 has a guarantee that the flowers stay nice and fresh for a week or two. Personally I never had problems with this service and it is fairly cost effective. Once I had a problem with the parcel service, being lazy and not delivering the flowers although my darling was at home the entire day, stating they could not find her. One call to Blume2000 solved the problem and also had the side effect that we get every parcel delivered without problems now. One main advantage is that every bouquet looks like the picture on the website.
The other system was introduced by Fleurop. They have collaborations with local florists all over the world and distribute the orders accordingly. Personally, I think this is a much nicer way to go. Although there is a slight difference in price, you strengthen local florists and have a bouquet of very fresh flowers delivered. Another difference is that the pictures on the Fleurop website are only ideas or inspirations how those flowers might look like. Once I ordered some flowers in the other end of the world, Australia, which was a very interesting experience. This bouquet wasn't like the picture at all. The local flora wouldn't have made it possible to include the same flowers as in Germany, but it was a very nice gift and the bouquet was very individual and absolutely stunning. Often you can even include some stuff "women like". I am deeply sorry for the stereotype – when I click through the collection of additions, my perception is that some guy sat down and tried to imagine the most cliche gifts, but I guess some Belgian Chocolates won't hurt. So what excuse do you have to forget Valentine's day while being abroad? 

Share and keep some hobbies!

This will seem odd, because how can you still share a hobby when you're several kilometers apart?
When you are living long-distance and you phone regularly you will soon realize a discrepancy between the time you want to talk and the things you can talk about. I was working full-time in Oslo and didn't have a lot to talk about but my need for a close relationship was just the same. Sometimes we would run out of things to talk about. Yes the first couple weeks are exciting and you have a lot to tell, don't worry about those weeks they're easy. But you can take some preparations for the time after.
My darling and I used to play board games a lot and it just so happened that I was pointed to a web page where we could play some of our favorite board games over the internet while being on the computer. This part is even easier if you're a couple that plays computer games together, you figure that one out yourself. Also you can still "go to the movies together", when you consult a streaming service for movies and watch your favorite movie together.
This part gets a bit tricky, when you used to do non-computer related hobbies together. Let's assume you went rock climbing together, sharing this immediately might be a bit too much. But you can take pictures and share the experience. You will have something to talk about on the phone later on. But you need some tact in this situation, remember you did this together before and now you substituted your darling for another climbing partner. Make sure that he/she can engage in an activity too. It will not always be easy but it will be a possible solution. Technology has made sharing very easy, a whole industry is built around sharing your meal with a sepia-filter³ so why not make sharing private again?

Have something to look forward to!

When I visited back home, we had something planned. Be it a nice dinner or some sort of party, we had something to look forward to other than just the pure presence of the partner. This was also something to talk about and to share. Make your visit worthwhile. The weekends we spent together weren't as relaxing as I would have liked them to be. You have to get used to each other after a period of absence, you have a lot of things planned, you want to spend quality time. Go figure. However, those are weekends you feel alive. You'll need the Monday at work to recover a little, and have an extra coffee, but the energy invested in that weekend is energy invested in your relationship and your health of mind.

Build rituals!

I mentioned it before when I told you to use technology but this is something I want to stress.
Build rituals with each other. Waking up in the morning and calling home, was one of the best ideas we had. It made a huge difference to start the morning together. We had to take compromises to make it every time, while I had to wake up at 6 am, my darling sometimes had to run to catch the train because we took too long to say goodbye and send the best wishes for the day ahead. We also called in the evening but this was a bit more flexible. When either one of us had something planned with friends or colleagues, we skipped the evening call and made up for it the coming evening.
Another wonderful ritual was built around me visiting home. We have a nice restaurant two train stations from home that has a Happy Hour right around the time my plane would land. We would just go there for the evening I arrived and have dinner and some cocktails together. This was a great measure to get used to each other again.

Get used to each other!

Now this is something that you will probably start to understand after the first two weeks of absence. You are living two separate lives and although you are doing your very best to stay close and still maintain that relationship, you are going to alienate a little bit. I think I have to elaborate on this, because it might make it seem like all those things stated before are worth nothing, but think about it this way: The less you do for your relationship, the more you will alienate, while the maximum alienation is a break-up. If you are a person that can transition from long-distance to short-distance within a blink of an eye, I salute you. I can't and I am quite good at rationalizing things which would make it easier on my part. You will get used to each other within the first couple of hours and it will get a tad easier to transition when you have gained some experience in this kind of change. But you will always need some time and you should take that kind of time.

Temporary long-distance relationships are manageable, but they are a lot of work.
Give it your best shot if it's worth your relationship.

My darling has endured six month with me living abroad and we both weren't sure we could do it, but in the end I would say we both grew from the experience and we are closer than ever.

Living in a different country always gives you a lot of opportunities, but also poses you in a rather uncomfortable position of being far far out of your comfort zone. My internship in London is exactly this way.

This internship with Schlumberger was about seismic interpolation. Although my internship with Fugro was just about the same topic, these two internships are nowhere the same. The United Kingdom and Norway are very different countries, ranging from people, attitude, over food to the landscape and weather. Just the same counts for the two companies, while Fugro was a small player in the field⁴, Schlumberger and Western Geco are the big player in the seismic industry.
There is a huge difference between university and working full tie. When you're working 35 hours a week, you can go home in the evening and stop worrying about work. This takes quite some effort when you're in university. You can always do more for university and I think it might be a habit worth starting to worry less and accomplish more.

Now even before I started this internship, the contact to Schlumberger was very nice. We wrote a couple of e-mails that included my CV and and a rough direction where this internship might lead. Then a telephone conference was set up, which basically served as an interview. I admit that I was very nervous before that interview. I strolled around in my apartment like a tiger in its cage. The interview itself went reasonably well. It was quite technical, which I honestly wasn't prepared for, so I basically did an ad hoc presentation about my bachelor thesis and the Common Reflection Surface over the phone. Quite interesting indeed.
Continue reading "My internship with Schlumberger"

Internships in foreign countries sometimes confront you with cultural differences you were not aware of. It's hard to prepare for those. There is however some stuff you can prepare for. Apart from the target language, you might consider some of the following questions.

What kind of money do they have?

Now with the Euro in large parts of Europe, it has become easier to travel or even work abroad. Your german Euro is just as good as the Euro in Spain, Greece or Austria. This is exactly why I forgot that Norway and has a completely different currency. I am aware that Norway is not even part of the European Union, it's just somehow the Euro gives you some sort of self-conception.
Now this isn't bad in particular, since you can always exchange money in your destination. This is also what banks suggest and what has worked in my personal experience. The best exchange rates will always be in your destination, when buying the local currency.
It might be hard setting up a bank account, but banks are always happy to exchange your money for "a small fee". So if you do want to exchange it, take a heap of cash. That way you will get the best deal sometimes even without an extra exchange fee and just the currency spread.

What kind of outlets are there?

Now this is a tricky one, I did not forget about in Norway but they have a system compatible to Euro outlets. Then it got me cold in the United Kingdom.
Which basically led me to ordering about 7 converters from Amazon. In all honesty I still have one in the original packaging, but I just didn't want to bother switching one converter around for everything I do.

Left right left, or the other way around?

In Germany we teach children crossing the street to first look for cars coming from the left side, then right and re-check left side. Now you get pretty good at screening the street when you get older. That is the problem, the more you get used to it, the harder it will be to get used to left-sided traffic as in the UK.
My very first encounter was trying to get into a car and finding myself on the driver side of the vehicle. That was a little embarrassing at first, but also made it very clear to me that I should really be alert when in traffic.
Additionally, I really haven't made it any easier on myself by visiting Germany every other week-end. The first week-end back home I felt like I was starting all over again. The only way to really get along in this changing environment is constant awareness. So when I cross the street, I check if I see any cars and can get the direction of travel from that. Then I start the children approach left-right-left or right-left-right. Eventually, this results in me checking both sides several times, which might make me look like a paranoid nutcase crossing the street, but well, I survived, right?!

Sweat the small stuff

You're probably flying to your internship. Do you know how to get to your temporary place? Do you have all the emergency numbers written down? Remember that Internet Roaming can be very expensive, so you will not be able to get information from your e-mail without paying for it.
Get your directions to the office before your first day. I myself got terribly lost, because I just followed the road we took by car the first day.
Two tips that helped me fit in with the company a lot, were asking for the dress code and asking for the time to start on the first day.

Don't sweat the small stuff

You're arriving at an airport. It's a microcosm that probably has everything you need. Here in Gatwick it's no problem to find an internet terminal, get cold medicine, exchange money, get a coffee or go to the pub and buy milk for the next morning, without leaving the terminal. Just don't freak out, if everything fails, there are hotels around where you can get settled and also have internet and phones to connect to your company. Believe me, my first day in London was pure chaos, but it all worked out in the end.
Don't worry you are still an intern and in the end no one will really care if you came in blue jeans. (Don't push it, I have never seen a place where cargo shorts were fine...)

In the end, you are there to learn something and if it is just about the company culture.
This list is everything but exhaustive, so if you have encountered some other challenges, leave them in the comments!